


Longing to Belong (to You)

by Pluie13



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Best Friends in Love, Fluff, M/M, Pining, SO MUCH FLUFF, oblivious idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 03:51:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6784012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pluie13/pseuds/Pluie13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Awww, aren't you two domestic?” Louis mocks, while Liam is brutally brought back to reality. Oh, yeah, right, Zayn doesn't like him like <i>that</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Longing to Belong (to You)

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to write a short drabble but it got away from me. This is basically 3k+ of pining best friends/roommates AU with barely any plot at all. There’s a shift in point of view right in the middle of it and yes, it’s deliberate :) xx

Liam's in the library, and he's studying for his finals, and he's _freaking out_. There's no way he'll be able to learn all of this in two weeks, no way. Why did he decide to go to uni again? He should've stayed back home, should've gone to work with his dad at the factory because there is _no way_ he's gonna pass. On the other side of the table, his friend – _'best friend, Payno, no matter how many times you tell me Zayn's your bestie'_ – Louis is nibbling on a lollipop stick and laughing at his computer, completely oblivious to Liam's distress.

Oh God, he sucks, okay, he _sucks_ , and he's gonna have to drop out, and he's gonna have to move out from the flat he shares with Zayn – _'because he's been my best friend for years, Louis, and I wouldn't be able to put up with your roguish arse anyway'_ – and go back home because he is a total failure.

He's about to hyperventilate when he feels two steady hands on his shoulders, gently massaging the small of his neck. He doesn't have to turn around to know that it's Zayn, because he recognises the smell of leather and cigarettes and Gucci that clings to his best friend.

“Breathe, babe, breathe. You're never gonna be able to compete tomorrow with a back that tense.” His hands wander down Liam's spine, trying to work out the kinks Liam hadn't even been aware of. It takes everything in his power not to close his eyes and moan at the feeling of Zayn touching him, and really, he's ridiculous, because he should be used to Zayn by now, it's been _fifteen years_. “And I wouldn't want you to become addicted to my massages because one day we won't be living together and you'll miss them too much.”

“Awww, aren't you two domestic?” Louis mocks, while Liam is brutally brought back to reality. Oh, yeah, right, Zayn doesn't like him like _that_.

Zayn completely ignores Louis and leans down to hug Liam from behind, squashing his face with Liam's in the process, cheeks pressed together. “What's going on, anyway? What's got you so worked up?”

Liam hears Louis snort, but decides it's best to overlook him. Experience taught him it's better not to make yourself an easy target for Louis Tomlinson's _relentless_ brand of teasing. Not trusting himself to speak yet, he just points down at his textbooks.

Zayn's arms tighten around him. “Aww, you're gonna ace it, babe, you don't give yourself enough credit. Would you feel better if I helped you study? Might even squeeze in a session tonight if you want to, yeah?”

Liam stutters. “Hmm, thanks, but erm- I have plans tonight.” He looks guiltily at Louis, who's smirking at them from behind his computer. “You- you can come with us if you want to, we're gonna see this new band that Niall told us about. I didn't ask you 'cause I thought you'd be working.”

For a second, Liam thinks he feels Zayn tense, but it's gone so fast Liam's sure he's imagined it. He presses a kiss to Liam's cheek and withdraws his arms from around Liam, and in that moment, Liam feels more lost than ever. He turns around to look at his best friend, and finds that his brown eyes are half-hidden behind strands of dark hair. _Damn. He's so hard to read when you don't see his eyes._ “Okay. Cool.” He takes hold of the cigarette tucked behind his left ear, and waves at the both of them. “It's cool, I have plenty to do anyway. Have fun and I'll see you at home, alright babe?”

Liam nods, and before he leaves, Zayn puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing him tight. “I meant it though, yeah? I'll help you anytime, you don't even have to ask. And stop worrying, you're the best, Li.” Liam swears he feels the touch burn long after Zayn's gone.

He's snapped back to reality when Louis scoffs. “When are you gonna tell him, Payno? I'm sick of watching you pine over him, it's disgusting.”

“Shut up Louis, you don't know what you're talking about.” 

Louis sighs. “Tell him.”

–

His legs burn and his lungs are on _fire_ , and he feels like he's gonna pass out anytime now, and he's so _thirsty_ , but he's done it, he's done it, he's won the race. He's officially the best runner on this side of the country and he's so _fucking proud_ , and there's only one person he wants to share this with, really.

His back is so sweaty his shirt is sticking to every pore of his skin, and as he feels drops sliding down his face – which _ew, gross_ – he realises he still hasn't drank one sip of water since he's crossed the finish line two minutes ago. He's too busy searching for Zayn's face in the crowd, because none of this will be real until he sees his feeling of pride reflected on Zayn's features.

He takes him another few seconds, but he finds him, and it's even better than what Liam had imagined. Zayn is _beaming_ , and Liam knows it's his real smile, his “I'm really happy” smile, because they've known each other since they were six and he can read Zayn like an open book. Well, most of the time. _Anyway_. He knows because Zayn's tongue is curling behind his front teeth, and his eyes are crinkling, and he's never been so beautiful. Liam takes several steps forward, attracted by Zayn's light like a moth to a flame, and Zayn's about to hug him when he feels someone hop on his back. “PAYNO!!!!!!” 

“OW! What the _fuck_ , Louis, tone it down!” Liam covers his ears in a futile attempt to undo the damage Louis has already done to his eardrums.

“You wooooon!!! Okay, party time in my flat tonight, everyone's invited but YOU are the guest of honour, dear, so don't you _dare_ think about not showing up!” He hops off Liam's back, but the harm has been done, and Liam knows that his moment with Zayn is gone. _Damn you, Tommo._ He turns around, and sees Louis narrowing his eyes. “Actually, you know what, you're coming with me, right now – you _stink_ so you're gonna take a shower, but I'm keeping my eyes on you.” Liam feels himself being dragged away, and _no_ , he has to talk to Zayn first.

“Lou, can you give me a minute?”

“Awww, can't leave the husband hanging now can we? Go, I'll wait.”

Liam knows he's blushing at his friend's comment but he's hoping against hope Zayn will chalk it up to the fact that he's just run a 10k race. He turns back to Zayn and is met with the same blinding, unwavering smile. Up close, Liam can see the specks of gold in Zayn's brown eyes; he's _breathtaking_ , and Liam wants nothing more than to kiss him over and over and over again, because he's fairly certain he'll never love anyone like he loves Zayn. Their parents joke that they've behaved like an old married couple since they were twelve, and Liam secretly loves it.

To his surprise, Zayn hugs him, like Louis never interrupted them at all. When he takes a step back, his hand lingers on Liam's neck, fingers interlaced with Liam's hair, and he presses his forehead to Liam's before whispering. “See? Told you you'd win this, babe. You're amazing.”

Liam takes a deep breath, the scent of _Zayn_ filling his senses, and he feels like he could run another 10k again. “Well, I wouldn't have made it this far without you. You've basically been my coach, my personal cheerleader and my masseur for ten years.”

Zayn chuckles softly, gently butting his head against Liam's. “It's all you. I _hate_ sports, Leeyum.” They stay like this for quite a while, simply basking in each other's presence, until the sound of Louis' laugh bursts their bubble.

Zayn sighs, once again kissing Liam's cheek before disentangling himself from Liam. “Go, Lou's waiting for you.” 

“Will you come to the party?” And Liam hears how hopeful and pathetic he is, but he doesn't care.

“Wouldn't miss it for the world, babe.” Zayn says with a smile before getting lost in the crowd. Liam watches him go, a deep sigh escaping his lips, before joining Louis.

“Control yourself, Payno. You'll see him tonight, try to woo him for a change. You're a _champion_ now, don't tell me it's a lack of self-confidence.” 

Liam groans, the weariness catching up to him now that Zayn is not around. “It's more complicated than that, Louis.” 

“It's really not. Just tell him.”

– 

The party died a long time ago but Liam is still awake, slumped into Louis' armchair. He's exhausted, and maybe a little bit tipsy, and he never wants to move. This is his favourite place in the world. Right here. Looking at his favourite person in the whooooole world.

“I know, you've told me enough times, Payno.” Louis' voice startles him, because he hadn't realised he'd been speaking out loud. _Bad, bad Liam. Nobody must know, shhhhh._

“You've done nothing but sit here, staring at him, since he fell asleep on my crappy old couch. It's creepy, bro.” Louis kneels beside the armchair, carefully eyeing Zayn who passed out hours ago at the height of the party, in the middle of a crowded living room. He had the ability to fall asleep anytime, anywhere and often slept like a log through his alarm clock. Liam was the only person who could wake him up, because he was the only person Zayn _allowed_ to do so.

A soft expression takes over Louis' face, and Liam is reminded of the big-hearted person he really is underneath the brash exterior. “You do realise he has no idea, right? This is sad, Liam, even for you.” He squeezes Liam's arm. “Just tell him.”

“I can't, he's my _best friend_ , Louis.” He ignores the glare Louis sends his way. “I just can't risk it. He's too important to me.”

“You're watching him _sleep_ , for fuck's sake, Payno, and I'm not even talking about the way your eyes are shining right now – and before you say anything, _NO_ , it's not the alcohol, you're always looking at him like that. I can't believe he hasn't realised yet.” Liam feels his eyes sting under the weight of everything he wants to say to Zayn, everything he can _never_ say for the sake of their friendship.

Louis sighs loudly, and Zayn stirs. They both freeze for a moment, but Zayn just wrinkles his nose, murmuring softly under his breath about whatever it is he's dreaming of. “If it makes you feel better, he looks at you the same way. And he hates that you're spending so much time with me, can't you tell?”

Liam shakes his head. “He doesn't. You don't know him like I do. Let it go, Lou.”

Louis stands up, and the last words he whispers before he leaves the room echo in Liam's mind. “Tell him.”

– 

“Honeeeey, I'm hoome!” Zayn singsongs, removing his jacket and slinging his bag by the door. He'd spent the whole afternoon writing this paper on _Alice in Wonderland_ and he wanted nothing more than to enjoy the evening with his best friend – two dorks watching superhero movies they already knew by heart while Zayn pretended he wasn't completely gone for Liam.

But Liam is on the couch, whispering something to Louis whose eyes are glued to the FIFA game he's playing, and he doesn't pay attention to Zayn. Liam shines too bright to pay attention to Zayn and his ridiculous crush. Louis mutters something back that Zayn is too far away to catch, but it makes Liam blush, and Zayn watches hopelessly as he hides his answering giggle in his shoulder, and Zayn loves him so much it hurts. Why did he have to fall for his best friend? How awfully _cliché_.

Zayn sighs loudly at the sight. His shoulders slump, and for a second, a shadow passes over his face. “Okay, that's it, I'm done.” he whispers, putting his jacket back on. Then, louder, “Im'ma sleep at Nialler's tonight, don't wait up. I'll be out of your hair as soon as possible.”

And at _that_ , Liam looks up, of course he does. For a second, Zayn gets lost in his gaze, and he swears that he sees Liam's face fall, and he hates himself because ten seconds ago Liam was happy and giggling. Liam is the sun, and most of the time Zayn feels like a dark cloud that stop it from shining. With a grunt, Liam lifts himself off their couch, and out of the corner of his eye Zayn notices that Louis is uncharacteristically _quiet_ , and Zayn has a bad feeling about all of this. Yet, when Liam speaks up, his words are far from what Zayn expected. 

“But, Zaynie, we were waiting for you! Marvel night, remember? The pizza's on its way and now that you're here everything's perfect!” He's within reach by now, and he looks so excited at the prospect of spending the night with both his roommate and his... _boyfriend_ that Zayn is tempted to let it go once again, even though he shudders at the idea of another evening of whispers and shy giggles and private jokes and loving stares. He's almost made his decision – and he can hear his sister's voice in his head, _at this point I think you're enjoying the pain, bhai_ – when he hears Louis chuckle and no, no, he can't do this.

“Perfect?” Zayn sneers. “It was supposed to be you and me, Liam! But _of course_ Louis is here and I can't take this anymore!” And Zayn could have sworn he had no intention of raising his voice, yet here he was. But at his tone – or was it his words? – Liam physically recoils, and the movement breaks Zayn's heart. In no time at all, all the fight leaves him, and he's defeated when he says “I'm moving out. I'll have to figure something out, so give me some time but I'll leave, I promise.”

“What?” And Zayn is tired, so he must be imagining the hurt he hears in Liam's voice. “What are you talking about? What's going on, Zed?” Liam reaches out, but Zayn takes a step back. He can't have Liam touch him right now or he might just break. Liam's brow is furrowed, and he looks so confused and... _sad_ that Zayn almost regrets his next words. Almost.

“You're kidding me, right? I'm not blind, babe. I know Lou's hiding something, I know _you're_ hiding something, and I've seen the two of you together. I can't take this anymore. It's okay, I get it, Liam. I'll move out so he can move in. Admit it, Li. I know you don't wanna hurt me because I've been in love with you for years but don't worry about me, I'll get over it yeah? You're my best friend, Leeyum, you always will be.” He closes his eyes, because he does _not_ want to see Liam's – _beautiful, so beautiful_ – face right now, not when his heart is pounding in his ears and he feels like he's going to throw up. “It's okay, Li, don't freak out. You didn't know because I never told you, it's okay.” If he says it enough, maybe he'll believe it.

Louis cackles like mad and Zayn wants to _strangle_ him. He feels tears gather behind his eyelids, his throat is closing up, and he knows he has to get out, _now_ , because he won't humiliate himself more than he already has.

Before he can turn around, his face is engulfed by two warm palms, thumbs delicately brushing his cheekbones, and the tears slip out when he opens his eyes in shock. Liam catches them before they fall all the way down, and his grin is blinding. _The sun. He's the sun._

“ _You're_ in love with _me_? Did I hear that right? I'm not dreaming, am I?” And Zayn's helpless, and he doesn't know what to do, so he just nods. His hands find their way to Liam's waist, slide under the tank top, and his fingers pinch Liam's skin before they settle, rubbing in slow circles to soothe the sting.

Liam yelps playfully, and he's still wiping away Zayn's tears when he adds: “Huh, guess it's real then. Well, wanna know what I've been hiding?” He bites on his lower lip, shyness overcoming his features for a moment, and Zayn wants to kiss him, but he's not sure _yet_. Apparently he's been reading this whole thing wrong, but he can't throw away fifteen years of friendship on a _maybe_. “You're my best friend, Zayn, and I love you.” Zayn frowns, because this is _not_ a good start. “But I'm an idiot because I had no idea you felt that way, and I've been pining like a fool for years now. There's no one else I'd rather spend my life with, and it's been that way since you decided you were gonna be my best friend when those pricks kicked my arse on the playground at school. You stuck with me then, and you've been here ever since, and you're such a huge part of who I am that I have no clue where you end and where I begin. So, if moving out is what you _really_ want, I can't stop you, but I guess I should tell you you'd be taking my heart with you. I'm _so_ in love with you, baby.” Zayn is frozen, and a part of him is scoffing at how ridiculous he must look, standing motionless with tears still sliding down his face.

He's brought out of his daze when Louis coos, and he hates the fact that their friend is witnessing this moment. He was so lost in Liam that he'd forgotten all about him. Apparently, so had Liam.

“Tommo, get lost before I kick you out.”

“Oi Payno, I'm gonna let this one slip because your inner sappy, lovesick, pathetic self won't listen to anything I have to say right now, but you only get _one_ pass, you jerk.”

“Out!” Liam repeats, and Zayn glowers at Louis until he scurries off the couch, hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, I'm out, damn.”

As he goes out, he snickers. “Told you to tell him, Payno!! Should've listened to me, you two could've been banging aaaaages ago. I expect a thank you from the both of you ASAP, preferably in money, YOU'RE WELCOME!” He shouts, slamming the door behind him, and Zayn is left alone with his best friend slash roommate slash... _boyfriend, now, I guess_ which is what he wanted in the first place, right? He'd just never thought the evening would play out like this. His hands are still on Liam's waist, and before he realises it, he lifts the right one up until he feels the steady beat of Liam's heart under his palm.

“Okay, I lied before.” And Zayn feels panic rising in his chest because no, Liam can't be this cruel. There's no way he lied about his feelings because...no, nope, Zayn will never forgive him. Liam's been more mischievous since Louis “king of pranks” Tomlinson came into their lives but this is taking it a step too far. He has no time to voice any of his thoughts though, because Liam peppers kisses along his jaw, until his lips catch Zayn's ear, his whisper sending delightful tingles down Zayn's spine. “ _Now_ the evening is truly perfect.”

Zayn hums, relieved. “It's not over yet, it's gonna be _incredible_ , Leeyum.” He murmurs before leaning forward to finally, _finally_ find out what Liam's lips taste like.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!! And please feel free to tell me what you think, whether good or bad! xx


End file.
